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02/23/2004:

Troy and GEEK Mythology


Never knew Achilles has his own version of Kenshin Himura's Hiten Mitsurugi. (I would love to give you Hiten Mitsurugi related links but most sites I found are decorated with a dark blue over black background so go Google things for yourself)

I don't watch movies in theatres anymore. I read the reviews, download the teasers and trailers, follow their numbers and wait for them in DVDs. So with most of them, I'm quite behind by months.

Movies with swords, dragons and a hint of the pre-digital world (even if the CG-world has a great part in creating them) where knights, warriors, archers rule and maidens who are not overly concerned with slimming down, have always been part of my favorite++ list.

(Heck. I don't even think those warriors have to endure the 'Am I that fat?' questions recursively.)

The story about Troy and Greek mythology as a whole were part of my bedtime stories when I was young. Some of my project codenames were even taken from some of its characters.

I was even hoping I could run as fast as Hermes/Mercury even then.

Moving forward in the future, I find myself running other things. But then of course I have to compile them first.

Anyway, the earthquake last night shook my programming chi so that I couldn't get myself to code. So I ended up sleeping and thinking that if the Trojans and the Greeks were using computers in their era, the Trojan war would never had occured.

For one, they would've scandisk-ed/NAV-ed/SPYBot-ed/LavaSoft-ed the 'gift' before they dragged it behind their walls. Their computer-powered detectors could've smelled the humans inside and radars could've easily tracked the hiding fleet.

Even if their network admins and technicians are busy doing 'other things'. (Some things don't change...)

In fact, probably they would even have installed RFID/GPS-related technologies on their slaves and wives, then Menelaus could've tracked Helen wherever she was.

Probably Paris and Helen would not even have met, considering that Priam could've just fax-ed his peace agreement, or e-mailed it to Menelaus. Paris would end up IM-ing Helen luring her to have cybersex with him not knowing it is one of her lazy male guards reading them and pretending to be Helen in the other side of the 'line'.

Kinky.

Helen's would've been too busy surfing eBay. Her sys-ad would not even give her rights to install new applications on her PC.

While Menelaus would've been preoccupied downloading porn stuff. He would've had no time for war. He's on a T1 connection so he's taking advantage of it.

Of course Agamemnon, would still be obsessed with conquering Troy. He would hire photoshop experts to fabricate pictures claiming that Troy owns weapons of mass destruction to convince the other kings that it is really time to invade. (Uh... sounds a little familiar)

Achilles would be very busy playing Tekken and his cousin Procla-something (can't remember his name, his not in my childhood books I think) would convince him again and again to play Warcraft instead.

They could never figure out the logic behind CounterStrike and Bloody Doom.

Hector having the leadership qualities would prefer to comandeer a guild inside Ragnarok Online. That is if Andromache is not watching him.

Hmm... I think I would still prefer Greek Mythology over Geek Mythology any time of the day.


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